'u International Copyrighted (in England, her Colonies, and the 

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B61746 



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No. i66. * 
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!peck vs. peckI 

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S[ at iWiocft €rtal in #ne act J 

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I C. S. BIRD 

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V Copyright, 191 i, by Samuel French 

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»^»»»»»»»»»»»»»»>1^»»»»»»»>»>»»»>»^3 



PECK VS. PECK 



ai sr^ocft Crial in <©ne %tt 



BY 

C. S. BIRD 



Copyright, 191 i, by Samuel French 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

publisher 

28-30 WEST 38TH STREET 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street, 

STRAND 



-^'b 



t'^^U 



3 



lO 



TMP92-008655 
©CI.D 28111 



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PECK VS. PECK 



Cbaracters 1Repre0ente^♦ 

Hon. Josephine Sifter Judge of Court 

Miss Fannie Notes Clerh of Court 

Mrs. Jane Hibrow Counsel for Plaintiff 

Miss Ima Stinger Counsel for Defendant 

Mrs. Henry Peck Plaintiff 

Mr. Henry Peck Defendant 

Mrs. Paul Pry ) ,j... x t>7 - ^-jr 

Miss Howe Lovely f • Witnesses for Plaintiff 

Mr.' Jacob Gobsky } Witnesses for Defendant 



XTbe 3uri?. 

Mrs. Shuffle of the Bridge Club 

Mrs. Diamond of the 500 Cluh 

Miss Olgerson A Swede 

Mrs. Stumps .,. .A Politician 

Miss GtUmmer of the Nickelodean 

Miss Parcels of the Depa/rtment Store 

Miss Kalsomine colored 

Miss Reeder literary 

Mrs. Freelingheiser German 

Miss Sour of a certain age 

Mrs. Delancy one of the 400 

Mrs. O'Bean Irish 



PECK VS. PECK. 



Costumes. 

Judge. Mannish costume, gray wig with side 
curls, spectacles, hat. 

Clerk. Modern costume, hat. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Swell costume, hat, lorgnette. 

Miss Stinger. Dressed severely plain, rather ec- 
centric, nose-glasses, hat. 

Mrs. P:eck. A large woman, masculine attire, hat, 
suggestion of beard. 

Mr. Peck. A small man, business suit, side 
whiskers, very meek appearing. 

Mr. Pry. Oldish man, modern costume. 

Mrs. Pry. Oldish woman, modern costume. 

GoBSKY. Hebrew make up. 

The costumes and make up of jury are readily sug- 
gested by the characters portrayed, Mrs. Delancy, 
elegant; Miss Parcels, and Miss Gummer, chewing 
gum; modern, eccentric, etc. 

This is a divorce trial, and is supposed to take place 
when women rule. The trial may be made more ri- 
diculous if the parts of Mrs. Hibrow, Miss Stinger 
and Mrs. Peck are taken by men, suitably costumed. 
Or the whole cast may be so represented, if so de- 
sired. 



PECK VS. PECK, 



SCE'NE. — A court room, judge's bench in back cen- 
ter, Clerk's table just in front of bench, witness 
box R., witnesses l. y., table for counsel and 
clients, f. c. 

(Clerk discovered at table writing, at rise of curtain. 
Enter Miss Gummer.) 

Miss Gummer. Good mo^nin^ 

Clehk. {without looking up) Good morning. 

Miss Gummer. Good land ! I^m all out o' breath 
a-climbin' them stairs. Thouo-ht Pd never git uj) 
here, th' conductor o' my car carried me a whole 
block too far, n' I had t' walk back. Whew ! ain't it 
hot? 

Clerk. Kindly take a seat in the box. 

Miss Gummp^r. What, me? ^ot on your life. I 
guess if you was in a box every day in the w^eek, sellin' 
tickets at a nickelodean, you wouldn't cotton to any 
other kind of a box when you'd got a day off. 

Clerk, {pointing toward jury box) Will you 
please be seated ? This is not really a box, it is only 
called so. 

Miss Gummer. {sarcastic) You don't say? 
{aside) My, how some folks do put on airs, {enters 
box) 

{Enter Miss Olgerson.) 

Miss Olgerson. Aye tank Ay got da right place, 
no? 



6 PECK VS. PECK. 

Clerk. If vou were looking for the divorce court, 
you certainly have. 

Miss Olgersox. Yas, Ay tank so, Ay ban tal to 
come here, an so 

Clerk. Take a seat over there, please, (pointing 
to hex) 

Miss Olgerson. Tank you. (enters box) 

Miss Gummer. (aside) Get on to the Swede. 
(to Miss Olgerson) Hullo, Hildegarde, (no reply) 
T say, — Hullo, Miss Oscarson. (Miss Olgerson 
stares stoUdhi in front) Ha, ha, ain't she the talk- 
itive sou] ? (enter Mrs. Stumps) 

Mrs. Stumps, (ivith easy familiarity) Morning, 
Fannie, how's it going? 

Clerk. Good morning, Mrs. Stumps, guess it will 
"TO all right when we get started. 

Mrs. Stumps. What's on? 

Clerk, (laughing) Oh, Peck vs. Peck. 

Mrs. Stuinips. (smiling) You don't say so? 
Poor little Peck. Say, Fannie, here's some o' my 
cards, running for Magistrate, you know, pass 'em 
around among your friends. 

Clerk. Of course, (talcing cards) 

(Mrs. Stumps enters box, — hands cards to others in 
box, — reads paper. ' She gives a card to each 
juror who comes into the box.) 

(Enter Miss Reeder.) 

Miss Reeder. I have a notice — a paper — calling 
upon me to serve as a juror in this court, and I have 
complied with the request only because 

Clerk. Please be seated, (pointing to box) 

Miss Peeder. Only because I hoped that I might 
find material — atmosphere, you know, for my new 
book. 

Clerk, (pointing) Over there, please. 

Miss Peeder. (nettled) Oh, indeed! (takes 
seat in box, goes to work with pencil and pad) 



PECK VS. PECK. 7 

(Enter Mrs. Delancy.) 

Mrs. Delancy. (aside) I presume this is the 
place, I will ask this person. Pawdon me but — 
(surveying clerk through lorgnette) am I in the 
right place ? 

Clerk. Yes, if you are looking for the divorce 
court. Are you a juror ? 

Mrs. Delancy. I believe so. 

Cleek. Then sit over there, please. 

Mrs. Delancy. What? with those people? 

Clerk. Certainly. 

Mrs. Delancy. Pray, excuse me, I will sit here. 
(sits at table) 

Clerk. It is impossible, madam, those seats are 
for counsel. You must sit with the other jurors. 

Mrs. Delancy. How excessively annoying, (takes 
seat remote from other jurors) 

(Enter Miss Kalsomine.) 

Miss Kalsomine. Good mawnin', chile, Am dis 
yer de cohtin' place? 

Clerk. The divorce court ? yes. Take a seat over 
there. 

Miss Kalsomine. Sho ! does you mean wif de 
quality ? 

Clerk. Yes, I suppose you were called for jury 
duty, were you not? 

Miss Kalsomine. Yas'm, dat's what I is, fo' 
ahua, one ob dem jewy wimmin. 

Clerk. Very well, then, take your seat. (Miss 
Kalsomine takes seat beside Mrs. Delancy, who 
draws her skirt away) 

Miss Kalsomine. (to Mrs. Delancy) Mawnin', 
Ma'am, Whew ! Dis am a bery salubricatin' kine ob 
a day, ain't it? (fanning herself vigorously) 

Mrs. Delancy. (aside, very much annoyed) 
Equal rights for women is not all a thing of roses I 
find, (using handkerchief, moving away) 



S PECK VS. PECK. 

Miss Kalsomine. Huh ! some folks is mitey 
stuck up. 

{Enter Miss Parcels.) 

Miss Parcels, (chewing gum) Say, lady, I got 
orders to report here and 

Miss Gummer. (from box) Why, hullo, Sadie, 
be you on the jury too ? say ain't that fine ? 

Miss Parcels. Hullo, Mame, where'd jew come 
from ? 

Miss Gummer. Oh, I blew in just now, come on 
up here, we'll set this thins: out together, look, (hold- 
ing up hag) peanuts! What? 

Miss Parcels. Sure, me for the goobers. 

Clerk. Ladies, ladies, this is no language for 
the court-room. 

Miss Parcels. Aw, cut out the grouch, are you 
the floor walker of this department? 

Clerk. I am not, this is not a department store. 

Miss Parcels. Then what ju giivn' us anyway? 
I didn't come here to be bossed 'round by no under- 
strapper like you. 

Miss Guminier. Oh, come on, Sadie, don't waste 
any time on her, she's got a dill pickle in her lunch 
box, that's what's makin' her sour, ha ha. 

Clerk. Take your seat instantly, or I'll 

Miss Parcels. Oh, rats ! (sits beside Miss 
Gummer) 

^ Enter Mrs. Diamond.) 

Mes. Diamond. Where is my table, please? 

Clerk. Your what ? 

Mrs. Diamond. Oh, excuse me, I have just come 
from the club, I mean where is my place? 

Clerk. In the jury box (pointing) 

Mrs. Diamond. Thank you so much, has the 
game begun? 

Clerk. Not yet, but soon. (iMes. Diamond en- 
ters box) 



PECK VS. PECK. 9 

(Enter Miss Sour, she goes straight to jury hox.) 

Clerk. One moment, madam. 

Miss Sour. Miss, if you please. 

Clerk. Well — Miss, are you a juror? 

Miss Sotr. No, I am not^ I am a juress. 

Clerk. Oh, well, take your seat over there. 

Miss Sour, {ivith some asperity) I guess 1 do 
not need you to tell me where to sit, I want you to 
understand I served on the jury before you were — 
er ahem, well never mind about that, at any rate, I 
do not need any advice or assistance from a little 
snip like you, and I would thank you not to interfere 
when you are not called upon, I 

Clerk, (wearily) Will you please be seated? 

Miss Sour. I will when I get ready, and not be- 
fore. Miss Impudence, (aside) I don't know what 
our courts are coming to when respectable young wo- 
men like }7ie have to stand the abuse of all these little 
petty office holders, (enters box) 

Miss Parcels. Good enough, old girl, I glory in 
yer spunk. 

Miss Sour. What's that ? Don't you Dare 

Clerk, (rapping on table) I will not tolerate 
any more of this, you shall be ejected from the court- 
room if 

(Enter Mks. O'Bean.) 

Mrs. O'Bean. Woosh ! (out of breath) Bad 
cess t' th' bye thot built thim stairs, faith I'm all out 
o' breath wid tryin' t' clime up um, — WHEW! ! 

Clerk. Are you on the panel? 

Mrs. O'Bean. (tartly) No, Oi ain't, what d'ye 
mane, ye hussy? 

Clerk. I merely asked if you were on the panel. 

Mrs. O'Bean. Well Oi'm not, Oi'd have ye know 
Oi'm a respictible married woman, whose name is 
O'Bean, Mrs. JeiTy O'Bean, an' no O'Bean was iver 
accused of bein' on anny " pannel " or annywhere ilse 
as thev shouldn't be. 



10 PECK VS. PECK. • 

Clerk. You misunderstand me, Mrs. O'Bean, I 
mean — did you come to serve on the jury? 

Mks. O'Bean. Oh! is thot what ye mane? well, 
why didn't yo say so thin? 

Clerk. Are you a juror? 

Mrs. O'Bean. Begorra Oi'm thot same, an' there 
will be thrubble fr' anny wan what 

Clerk. Please be seated then. (Mfes. O'Bean 
enters box) take that chair, (indicatmg seat beside 
Miss Kalsomtne) 

Mrs. O'Bean. What! alongside o' th' naygur? 
An' me s. white woman. I'll not do ut. 

Clerk. Oh, take anv seat you please. 

Miss Kalsomine. I wouldn't hab no Irisher 
settin' 'long sider me anyhow. 

Mrs. O'Bean. Shut up, ye black 

Clerk. Ladies, ladies. 

(Enter Mrs. Shuffle.) 

Mrs, Shuffle. Kindly inform me if this is the 
divorce court, — '" pray do." 

Clerk. It is. Are you a juror? 

Mrs. Shuffle. I think I was to be, but if you 
will excuse me I think I will not take a hand in the 
game to-day, the company appears to be far from 
select and 

Clerk. That makes no difference in jury duty, 
madam, equal rights prevail in our courts. 

]\Irs. Shuffle, (aside) But you know, my dear, 
I see that odious Mrs. Diamond is here, she is only 
a member of that common 500 club, I could not 
possibly think of serving on the same jury with her, 
I really could not, so if you will excuse me (moving 
toward the door) I will 

Clerk. You must wait, madam, and make your 
excuses to her Honor. 

Mrs. Shuffle. Oh, do they have " honors " here ? 
Then I will stay for a short time. 



PECK VS. PECK. 11 

Clerk, (tvith sarcasm) I am sure that is very 
sweet of you, kindly take your seat in the jury box. 

Mrs. Stiuffle. But really, it would hardly be 
worth while 

Clerk. Be seated if you please. (Mrs. Shuffle 
enters box) 

(Enter Mrs. Freelingheiser. ) 

Clerk. {looking at her) Well? [no reply) 
{louder) Well, madam? 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. 0, yah, preddy well al- 
retty. 

Clerk. Are you a juror? 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. N'ein, I vas a Chermans. 
Do I look like von Chew. 

Clerk. No, but did you come to sit on a ease ? 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. Ach! nein, I sids on no 
cases, bud T will sid on von keg, if dose chairs pe all 
daken, ain't it? 

Clerk, {smiling) There is a chair for you in the 
box, so please be seated. 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. Yah, yust so. {enters 
box) 

{Enter Mrs. Hibrow, and Mrs. Peck, they sit at 
table, facing judge's bench. Enter Miss 
Stinger, and Mr. Peck, talcing places on op- 
posite side. The witnesses follotv, talcing seats 
L. Enter Judge b. c. going to bench. 

Clerk, {rising) Court, (all rise) 

Judge. Wait a moment, Fannie. {looks in 
mirror back of bench, arranges hat) What do you 
think of my new hat? 

Clerk. It's just a dream, your Honor. Where 
did you get it? 

Judge. Down at Marlows, — pattern hat — only 
one in the store, and such a bargain. 

Mrs. Parcels, (aside to Miss Gummer snicker- 



32 PECK VS. PECK. , 

ing) Say, Mame, ain't some folks easy worked? I 
know all about them hats, — next department to mine, 
'' pattern '' nit, ha, ha. 

Judge. Is everything ready for the trial? 

Clerk. I believe so. 

Judge. Then we will start, let me see, {loohing at 
payers) iim. Peck vs. Peck. Open the court, Fannie. 

Clerk, {rapidly) Oyez Oyez Oyez, all women or 
other persons having business before the Hon. 
Josephine Sifter will please put aside their fancy- 
work, see that their hats are on straight, their cos- 
tumes hooked up in the back {mutual inspection) so 
there may be nothing to interfere with the due course 
of justice, also stop chewing gum and please be 
seated. 

{All sit down.) 

Judge. The first case listed for trial is Peck vs. 
Peck. The clerk will call the roll of jurors present. 

Clerk. Jurors will stand and answer to their 
names as called, {reading from paper) Miss Abbie 
Sour. 

Miss Sour. Present, and T want to say 

Judge. Order in the court. 

Miss Sour. But I have a complaint 

JuGDE. This is no time for complaints, go on, 
Fannie. 

Clerk. Miss Angeline Reeder. 

Miss Reeder. Wait 'til I finish this line. 

Judge. Jurors must answer promptly. 

Clerk, {louder) ]\riiss Angeline Reeder. 

Miss Reeder. Why anyone can see I am here. 

Clerk. Miss Phoebe Kalsomine. 

Miss Kalsomine. {dropping a curtsy) Right 
here, see me? 

Clerk. Mrs. Dolly Diamond. 

Mrs. Diamond, (absently) I think I will make 
it hearts. 

Judge. What's that? 



PECK VS. PECK. 13 

]\I'RS. Diamond. Why — ah — present. 

Clerk. Mrs. Jane Stumps. 

Mrs. Stumps, (loudly) Here. 

Clerk. Mrs. Bridget O'Bean. 

Mrs. O'Beax. Here, av ye plaze. 

Clerk. JMrs. Amanda Shuffle. 

Mrs. Shuffle. I am here, but I wish it to be 
distinctly understood that my car is ordered in half 
an hou]', and under no circumstances will I 

Judge. That will do, Mrs. Shuffle, you will stay 
ujitil this case is tinished. 

Mrs. Shuffle. The idea, I said 

Clkrk. Order in the court. 

Jt'DGe. ( sternly) Silence, in the jury box. 

^riss Gu:\i:\rER. Ha, ho. Say, Sadie, she got her? 
all right all right, didn't she? 

Mtss Parcels. That's what, the judge told lier 
where to git off sure. 

Clerk. Order. 

Mrs. DrAMOND. Huh! served her right, the 
<tuck-up thing. 

Judge. Ladies, you must be quiet, this is not an 
afternoon tea. 

Clkrk. Mrs. Van Peyster Delancy. 

Mrs. Delancy. I am here, but only for a short 
time, I have a luncheon appointment at the 

Judge. That will do, Mrs. Delancy, go on, Fannie. 

(Giggles from rest of jury.) 

Clerk. Order please, Mrs. August Freelingheiser. 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. Yah, I vos here for half 
an hour alretty, und batiently waitin^ 

Clerk. Miss Olga Olgerson. 

M'iss Olgerson. Ay bane settin' here. 

Clerk. Miss Sarah Parcels. (Miss Parcels, 
and Miss Gummer, busy eating peanuts) 

Clerk, (louder) Miss Sarah Parcels. 

Miss GuMMER. (nudging Miss Parcels) Say, 
Sadie. She means you. 



14 PECK VS. PECK. 

Miss Parcels. {shaking head) Uh, uh, my 
name ain't " Sarah." 

Judge. Jurors must answer, don't delay the roll 
call. 

Miss Parcels. Well, if she means me, my name's 
Sadie, tell her to cut out the " Sarah " business and 
I'll answer. 

Clerk. Well, Miss Sadie Parcels. 

Miss Parcels, (cracks a peanut, imitates cleric) 
Here, marm. (Miss Parcels and Miss Gummer 

gm^e) 

Clerk. Miss Mary Gummer. 

Miss Parcels, (nudging her) Ha, ha. it's up to 
you now, Mame. 

Miss GirMiviER (to cleric) Aw, leave off th' trim- 
mins, my name's Mame. (to Miss Parcels) Say, 
wouldn't my steady give her the stony stare f er that ? 
{giggles) 

Judge. This levity must cease, and at once. 

Miss Gummer. All ri^ht, anything to accon- 
odate, (to cleric) put me down on the piece o' paper, 
marm. 

Mrs. Stumps (who has been sitting beside Mrs. 
O'Bean, rising) Your Honor, would it be possible 
for me to change my seat? 

Judge. For what reason ? 

Mrs. Stumps. I object decidedly to the odor of 
laundry soap, with which this lady is saturated. 

Mrs. O'Bean. Oh, ye do, do yez? Maybe if ye 
was to pay me for thim last two washin's ye would 
like ut betther. (laughter) 

Judge. Order in the court. No, you will have to 
remain where you are. 

Mrs. Diamond, (beside Miss Kalsomine) 
Would your Honor permit me to change my seat? 

Judge. Is this a question of laundry soap also? 

Mrs. Diamond. No, your Honor, I think it is a 
question of the lach of toilet soap and 

Miss Kalsomine. OH ! indeedy, I guess you ain' 



PECK VS. PECK. 15 

got no reason to be so uppy, say, jedge. Ah, knows 
her kitchen gal, Ah does, her name Mandy, Mandy 

Snow, An' Mandy say 

Judge. That will do, jurors will stay where they 
are, proceed with the case. 

(Mrs. Hibrow opens case for plaintiff.) 

Mrs. Hibrow. Your Honor, and ladies of the 
Jury, the ease which is about to be brought before you, 
is one which in the course of a long and varied ex- 
perience in general practice, it has never been my 
fortune, I might say, my misfortune, to have seen 
equalled in its exemplification of the extreme brut- 
ality — the awful vindictiveness — and the selfish neg- 
lect of which a person calling himself a }nan (looking 
sternly at defendant) can be capable of showing to- 
ward the weak and timid — the innocent and long- 
suffering partner of his joys and sorrows, particularly 
the latter. We will show you by competent and 
unimpeachable witnesses that what I state is but too 
true, and after we have done so, we will ask, nay, we 
will demand, that you render a verdict in accordance 
with the facts produced, and award us the divorce for 
which we pray, together with alimony to the full 
amount for which we sue. Mrs. Peck will please take 
the stand. (Mrs. Peck takes stand) 

Clerk, (rapidly) You do promise that the 
evidence you shall give before this court shall be the 
truth so far as you are able to state it and shall be 
such as to help your own case as much as possible and 
injure that of the defendant in a corresponding 
degree ? 

Mrs. Peck, (emphatically) I do. 

Judge. Be seated, Mrs. Peck. 

Miss Stinger. Your Honor, will you entertain a 
motion to quash at this time? 

Judge. I will hear what you have to say, Miss 
Stinger. 



3 6 PECK VS. PECK. ^ 

Miss Stixger. Then we will make a motion to 
quash in this case. 

Judge. Counsel will state her reasons. 

Miss Stinger. First, because of defective and 
erroneous Brief, it being stated that at the institution 
of these proceedings the face of defendant was 
adorned with side whiskers, when as a matter of fact, 
he was not permitted by plaintiff to wear such ap- 
pendages at, or prior to the time mentioned, the 
crop which he now wears having^ been cultivated since 
their separation. 

Mrs. Hibrow. I object to this harangue, A^our 
Honor, when the proper time arrives 

Judge. Counsel for plaintiff must not interrupt 
when a motion is being heard by the court. 

Miss Stinger. In the second place, we move to 
quash because it is further stated that at this time 
defendant took to calling plaintiff " Miss Peck." 
When it is a matter of common knowledge that he 
invariably addressed her as " Baby." (jnrors giggle) 

Judge. Order in the court, — the motion is re- 
fused, proceed with the case. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What is your full name Mrs. 
Peck? 

Mrs. Peck. Hannah Anna Peck. 

Mrs. Hibrow. You know the defendant in this 
case? 

Mrs. Peck. I most certainly do. 

Mrs. Hibrow. He is your husband, I believe ? 

Mrs. Peck. He is. 

Mrs. Hibrow. How long have you been married, 
Mrs. Peck? 

Mrs, P:eck. Twenty years. 

Mrs. Hibrow. TT-m, twenty years. Now will you 
please state to the jury whether or not these twenty 
years of married life have been years of unalloyed 
happiness. 

Mrs, Peck. Well, I might say that they might 
have been so considered until recently. 



PECK VS. PECK. 17 

Mrs. Hibrow. How recently? 

M.RS. Peck. Until about a year ago. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What then happened to change 
the nature of these peaceful domestic relations? 

Mrs. Peck. Well 

Mrs. Hibrow. Or first, let me ask if you can give 
the jury any information tending to show that your 
previous life with defendant was a — ah — loving and 
harmonious one? 

Mrs. Peck (hesitating) I really don't know — I 
suppose 

Mrs. Hibrow. Come, any little things, I presume 
now, as is often the custom among those who are 
happily mated, he frequently held you — ah — upon his 
knee ? 

Mrs. Peck. Oh, yes, frequently. (laughter — 
judge raps on desk) 

Mrs. Hibrow. Anything else? 

Mrs. Peck. Why, 1 don't know. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What? didn't he call you pet 
names, or anything of that sort? 

Mrs. Peck. Oh, yes, he called me " Baby," his 
little ''Birdie" and other things, (more laughter) 

Miss Gummer. (to Miss Parcels) Ha, ha, she 
looks, like a bird, don't she? (giggle) 

Judge. Silence in the jury box. 

Mrs. Hibrow. And I suppose you retaliated, er, 
I mean you reciprocated? 

Mrs. Peck. Well, I used to call him " Henny." 

Mrs. Hibrow. You called him Henny, Henry 
being his correct name, I believe? 

Mrs. O'Bean. Shure, he must hov bin in th' 
" Bantam class." (laughter) 

Mrs. Hibrow. Now, Mrs. Peck, you have said 
that your relations were harmonious until about one 
year ago, I will ask you what then occurred to change 
"this peaceful atmosphere of domestic bliss ? 

Mrs. Peck. Well, for one thing, I needed money 
for my personal use, and he refused to supply it. 



]8 PECK VS. PECK. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Anything else ? 

Mrs. Peck. He also complained about wheeling 
the baby carriage in the park. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What reason did he give for this 
outrageous conduct? 

Mrs. Peck. He pretended that he could not spare 
the time from his business. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What about his treatment of you ? 

Mrs. Peck. When we had the difference over 
money matters, he struck me. 

Mrs. Hibrow. He struck you, did he? I hope, 
ladies of the jury, you will make a mental note of 
that statement. What did he assault you with, his 
fists? 

Mrs. Peck. No, with a piece of furniture. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What was it? a chair, a table leg? 

MiRS. Peck. No, not exactly, — it was a — a 

Mks. Hibrow. Don't be afraid to tell the jury, 
this is very important, a very serious matter, the 
facts must be brought out, now what was it, Mrs. 
Peck? 

Mrs. Peck, (hesitating) It was a — a — feather 
duster, (derisive laughter from Miss Stinger, and 
jury) 

Mrs. Hibrow. (somewhat confuted) That's all, 
Mrs. Peck. 

Miss Stinger. One moment, Mrs. Peck, I would 
like to ask you 

Mrs. Peck, (haughtily) You need not ask me 
anything, I do not care to have any conversation with 
you. (stepping down) 

Miss Stinger. I appeal to your Honor. 

Judge. Witness must answer questions of counsel. 

Mrs. Peck, (sitting down again) Well? 

Mjiss Stinger. You say that you have been 
married to my client twenty years ? is that right ? 

Mrs. Peck. It is. 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Peck was a home-loving man, 
was he not ? 



PECK VS. PECK. 19 

Mrs. Peck. That is true. 

Mtss Stinger. Good provider — no bad habits? 

M'Rs. Peck. Quite right. 

Miss Stixger. I suppose he helped take care of 
the children — washed the dishes when occasion re- 
quired, etc. 

Mrs. Peck. I think so. 

Miss Stinger. You thinJc so, •well but didn't he? 

Mrs. Peck. I said 

.Miss Stinger. Please answer, yes or no. 

Mrs. Peck. Well, yes. 

Miss Stinger. Oh, he did? Now in regard to 
this trouble over money matters, what reason had you 
for asking defendant for a large amount of money at 
this time? 

M'RS. HiBROw. I object, there was no testimony 
about any amount. 

Miss Stinger. Well, why did you want money at 
this time? 

Mrs. Hibrow. I object your Honor, I don't see 
that it makes any particular difference ivkat the 
money was wanted for, it is enough that she needed 
it and that he refused to supply it. 

Miss Stinger. Your Honor, I desire to show by 
this witness that my client had very good reasons for 
refusing to supply this money. 

Judge. Objection overruled, answer the question. 

Mrs. Peck. Well I needed the money for cam- 
paign expenses. 

Miss Stinger. You are running for Aldejwoman 
at the time, were you not? 

Mrs. Peck. I was. 

Miss Stinger. And your husband objected, he 
thought your place was at home, instead of in politics, 
didn't he? 

Mrs. Peck. He said so. 

Miss Stinger. Now, Mrs. Peck, in regard to this 
alleged assault, when you asked for money, and was 



20 PECK VS. PECK. 

refused, did you not call defendant a " little ungrate- 
ful wretch ? " 

Mrs. Peck. I don't think 

M'iss Stixger. {loudly) Answer the question. 
Didnt you ? 

Mrs.' Peck. Weill 

Miss Stinger. Come, no evasion, a plain yes or 
no, is all we want. • 

MtRS. Peck, {rattled) Yes, I 

Miss Stikger. You did, and didn't you take him 
by the hair of the head, and the collar of the coat, and 
shake him? 

Mrs. Peck. I don't remember. 

Mtss STiX(n:R. {storming) Didn't you? yes or 
no. 

Mrs. Peck. 1 may have. 

Miss Stinger. I do not ask you what you 7nay 
have done, or what you may not have. I ask you if 
you did not do as I have stated? 

Mrs. Peck. I refuse to say. 

Judge. Witness must answer one way or the 
other. 

Mrs. Peck. Well then, I did, and so would any 
other woman with an ounce of 

Miss Stinger. {triumphantly) Never mind 
about any other woman, it's the facts in this case we 
are after just at present. What was defendant doing 
at the time? 

Mrs. Peck. He was dusting the furniture. 

Mess. Stinger. What with? 

Mrs. Peck. Why, with a duster, of course. 
{smiles around room) 

Miss Stinger, {holding up long-handled duster) 
Was this the article referred to? 

Mrs. Peck. I don't know. ' 

Miss Stinger. Well, it was one lil'e this, was it 
not? 

Mrs. Peck. I think so. 

Miss Stinger. Now, Mrs. Peck, I want to ask 



PECK VS. PECK. 21 

you, if when you so brutally assaulted your husband, 
and pulled him around the room, this duster did not 
accidentally ily around and strike you? 

Mip.s. Peck, {decidedly) It did not, he struck 
me with it. 

Miss Stinger. You are sure of this, are you ? 

Mrs. Peck. I am. 

Miss Stinger. Which end did defendant have in 
his hand at the time? 

Mrs. Peck. Why, the handle end. 

Miss Stinger. You are sure of that too, I sup- 
pose? 

M'RS. Peck. I am. 

^Iiss Stixgeil {sniiling) That will do, Mrs. 
Peck. (Mrs. Peck stands down) 

Mrs. Hi brow. Mrs. Pry will please take the 
stand. 

Clerk. You do hereby promise that the evidence 
you shall give in this case shall be the truth according 
to your own idea of it ? 

Mrs. Pry. (tartly) Young woman, I want you 
to distinctly understand that I am not in the habit 
of telling anything but the truth, so I do not care for 
any insinuations of 

Judge. That will do, Mrs. Pry, just be seated, and 
confine your conversation to the answering of ques- 
tions of counsel. 

Mrs. Hibrow, Mrs. Pry, what is your full name? 

MiRS. Pry. Genevieve Philomela Pry. 

Mrs. HibroW'. Your married name being Mrs. 
Paul Pry, I believe? 

Mrs. Pry. It is, but I think nowadays 

Mrs. Hibroav. Just answer the questions please. 
]S[ow, Mrs. Pry, do you know anything about this 
trouble referred to by the last witness, this — ah-— 
disagreement between the plaintiif and defendant in 
this case? 

Mrs. Pry. Well, I heard 

Judge. The jury does not want to know what the 



22 PECK VS. PECK. 

witness heard. Please confine your testimony to what 
you knoiu, what you may have actually observed at 
the time. 

MiRS. Pry. That's what I was about to do when 
you butted in. (laughter) 

Judge, (sternly) Witness must not address the 
court in a disrespectful manner. 

Mrs. Pry. And you had better wait and see what 
I have to say before you- 

Judge, (ravpinq on desk) Silence, Madam. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Now, now, Mrs. Pry, please let us 
hear what you know in regard to this case. 

Mrs. Pry. Well, as I started to say before — 
(looking at judge) I heard 

MIrs. Hibrow. (hastily) B^^ the way, you and 
Mrs. Peck are neighbors, are you not? 

Mrs. Pry. We are. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Well, go on, relate what occurred, 
in your own words. 

Mrs. Pry. I heard — an awful rumpus over at the 
Pecks' that day, and 

MiRS. Hibrow. What do you mean by a 
'^ rumpus ? " 

Mrs. Pry. Why, voices and high words like. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Where were you at the time? 

Mrs. Pry. I was standing by the fence. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Which side of the fence ? 

Mrs. Pry. My own side. 

Mrs. Hibroav. Well, what did you do when you 
heard this disturbance? 

Mrs. Pry. I happened to be wanting to borrow a 
few eggs from Mrs. Peck, so I went over, I found the 
hired girl in the kitchen, and she said that Mr. and 
Mrs. Peck were having a terrible time in the 

Miss Stinger. Your Honor, I object. We do not 
care what this witness heard the hired girl say, we 
want to hear what this witness knows, that is, if she 
knows anything. 



» 



PECK VS. PECK. 23 

Mrs. Pry. {angrily) I guess I know as much as 
you do, any day in the week. 

Judge. That will do. Confine yourself to matters 
which came under your personal observation. 

Mrs. Pry. Well then, I went into the other part 
of the house, to ask about .the eggs you know. I 
wouldn't have gone for any other reason, as I didn't 
want to seem to be inquisitive about their family 
affairs 

Miss Stinger, (sarcastically) No, of course not. 
{jurors lauoh) 

Mrs. Pry. {scowling at Miiss Stinger) So I 
stopped in the hall. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Where was the place, or the room 
from which this noise seemed to proceed, in reference 
to the position which you occupied? 

MIrs. Pry. Oh, right next to it. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Door between ? 

Mrs. Pry. Yes. 

^Urs. Hibrow. Door closed or open? 

Mrs. Pry. Wide open. 

Mrs. Hibrow. The door was wide open, and did 
you stand where vou could see into the other room? 
any curtains or other obstructions in the way? 

M'rs. Pry. No, indeed, I had a fine view — I — er — 
mean that I — (Miss Stinger looks at jury, they 
both laugh) 

Judge. Order in the court. 

Mrs. Hibrow. (hastily) Go on, tell us what 
you saw or heard. 

Mrs. Pry. Well, I heard Mrs. Peck say some- 
thing. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What was it? 

^Urs. Pry. I couldn't make out, they were making 
so much racket. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Did Mr. Peck have anything in 
his hand? 

Miss Stinger. I object, I object to counsel trying 
to lead witness, let her tell her own story. 



24 PECK VS. PECK. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Go on. 

Mrs. Pry. They were slamming around the room, 
tipping over furniture and things, and I thought the 
best thing for me to do was to get out, so I came 
away. 

MiRS. Hibrow. You mean you went home ? 

Mrs. Pry. I did. 

Mrs. Hibrow. But didn't you see Mr. Peck with 
a feather duster 

Muss Stinger. Oh, I object. 

Judge. Counsel must not ask leading questions. 

Mrs. Hibrow. That's all. 

Miss Stinger. Not quite all, Mrs. Pry. not quite. 
You say you were at home when you first heard this 
disturbance ? 

Mrs. Pry. That's what I said. 

Miss Stinger. Yes, — and you thought all at once 
that you would like to borrow a few egs^s? 

Mrs. Pry. Well, not all at once, I just needed the 
eggs, and 

Miss Stinger. And you thought it would be a 
real nice time to borrow eggs from your neighbor 
when she and her husband were having this little 
domestic comedy, or tragedy, or whatever you may 
have hoped you would see? 

Mrs. Pry. I don't know about that. 

Miss Stinger. No, of course not, you just hap- 
pened to want those eggs at that particular time, and 
went after them, was that it? 

Mrs. Pry. I suppose I did. 

Miss Stinger. Yes. (jurors much amused) 
Now, Mrs. Pry, you say you and Mrs. Peck are 
neighbors ? 

Mrs. Pry. I do. 

Miss Stinger. Good friends no doubt, I believe 
you both belong to the same political party, do you 
not? 

Mrs. Pry. We do. 

Miss Stinger. I want to ask you, if just prior to 



PECK VS. PECK. 25 

this trouble you accidentally witnessed, Mrs. Peck 
was not over at your house, and if she did not say 
to you at that time " that if Henry Peck did not 

Mrs. Hi brow, {jumping up) I object! 

Miss Stinger.' (persisting) Shell out for your 
cajTipaign expenses you would hammer it out of him? 

MlRS. Hi BROW. You Honor, I object to this kind 
of cross-examination. 

Miss Sttxgkr. (laughing) That's all, IMrs. Pry. 
(Mrs. Pry steps doum) 

Mrs. Hibroav. Miss Lovely. (Miss Lovely 
takes stand) 

Clerk. You swear 

Miss Lovely, (indignantly) I don't ! T'se a 
mor'l woman, I is. 

Clerk. But you must be sworn, hold up your 
riorht hand, do you promise to tell the whole truth in 
the evidence you are about to give in this case? 

^Iiss Lovely. Ah suah does. 

Mrs. Hibrow. What is your name? 

M'lss Lovely. My name am Lovely. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Well, what is your first name ? 

Miss Lovely. Howe. 

Mrs. Hibrow. (louder) I say, what is your first 
name ? 

Miss Lovely. Ah dun tole yer. 

Mrs. Hibrow\ You did not, you asked me to 
repeat the question. 

Miss Lovely. Mah fust name Hoive, an' Ah dun 
say Howe. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Oh, I see, then your full name is 
Howe Lovely? 

Miss Lovely. Yas'm. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Miss Lovely, you were employed 
by Mrs. Peck at the time of this trouble, that is, about 
a year ago, were you not? 

Miiss Lovely. Yas'm Ah was. Ah was in de 
kitch'n an 



26 PECK VS. PECK. • 

Mrs. Hibeow. Wait a moment, just answer my 
questions. 

Miss Lovely. All right, question away, (laugh- 
ter) 

Mrs. Hibrow. Where were you, Miss Lovely, 
when Mrs. Pry came over that day? 

Miss Lovely. In de kitch'n. an' Ah say to Miss 
Pry, Ah say 

Mrs. Hibrow. Wait, wait, what occurred at the 
time, as near as you can remember? 

Miss Lovely. Well, neah's Ah can 'member Ah 
hears a 'nawful racket in de front ob de house, soun 
like quar'lin' 'n fitin'. Mis' Pry, she dun come a 
runnin' ober t' de house an' say — " what on airth am 
de matter, Howe," an' Ah tell her I doan' kno' noffin' 
'tall 'bout it, but seem t' me like de folks was habin' 
powerful heap o' trubble in de front ob de house, 'n 
Mis' Pry she p-o tip-toin' inter de front hall, ^n Ah 
gits skeered 'n grabs mah hat 'n runs home. 

Mrs. Hibrow. And is that all you know about the 
affair ? 

Miss Lovely. On'y what Mis' Pry dun tole nex' 



day, she say- 

Mrs. Hibrow. Never mind about that. 

Miss Lovely. She say she dun see Mis' Peck 
cotch Mistah Peck by de har ob de haid, an' de scruff 
ob de 

Mrs. Hibrow. (angrily) I said that would do, 
you are excused. 

Miss Stinger, (laughing) One moment, Miss 
Lovely, how do you spell your first name ? 

Miss Lovely. Howe. 

Miss Stinger. No, I mean, how do you spell it ? 
Like the printing press man, don't you? 

Miss Lovely. Ah doan' know dat ar man. 

Miss Stinger. Well, he spells it — H o w e, is 
that right? 

Miss Lovely. Ah guess so, he suah orter know 
how. ( laughter) 



r 



PECK VS. PECK. 27 

Miss Kalsomine. Huh ! her name ain' Howe, an 
she ain' Lubly either, her name Jackson, M^atilda 
Jackson, she made dat name up t' suit herse'f. 

Miss Lovely. (angrily) No, Ah didn't, yo 
black 

Miss Kalsomine. Yas yo did, monkey face, Ah 
knowed yo sence yo was a li'l chile an' yo Mam- 
my- 



JtTDGE. Silence, or I will have you both committed 
for contempt. 

Miss Gummer. Oh, let 'em scrap it out, I'll bet 
on 

Cleuk. Order, order in the court. 

Miiss Stinger. Wss Lovely, you say you were in 
the kitchen when Mrs. Pry came running over, ap- 
peared to be in a hurry, didn't she? 

Miss Lovely. Yas'm, she was fo' suah. 

Miss Stinger. Excited? 

Miss TiOVELY. Yas'm. 

Miss Stinger. Say anything about " eggs ? " 

Miiss Lovely. Not's Ah 'member. 

Miss Stinger. No, don't remember hearing her 
mention eggs, do you? 

Miss Lovely. No, not eggsac'ly. 

Miss Stinger. Just so, that will do. Miss Lovely, 
thank you. (Miss Lovely steps doivn) (rising) 
Your Honor, and ladies of the jury, it will hardly 
be necessary for me to take up the time of this court 
or the perhaps still more valuable time of the ladies 
of this extremely intelligent and more than ordinarily 
good-looking jury, by anything more than a very 
brief allusion to the case of the client whom I have the 
honor to represent here to-day, I know you have 
many social, many political, domestic, and other 
duties awaiting your guiding hands, so I will only 
sav, that the man against whom this suit has been 
brought — against whom the poisoned darts contained 
in this quiver of so-called evidence which has just 
been emptied before your discriminating view, have 



28 PECK VS. PECK. , 

been aimed, is the most maligned, the most persecuted, 
and I may add, the most unhappy victim of that 
vampire in human guise — the confirmed female 
politician, wliom it has ever been my duty to defend 
against the foul stigma of wife-beating, which this 
plaintiff, and this prosecuting — perhaps I should say 
— this persecuting minion of the law, and her per- 
jured coteiit of character assassins called " wit- 
nesses " have sought to fasten upon him. 

I have not the slightest doubt in the world that 
after you have heard the evidence which we will pro- 
duce, you will not only acquit my client of these in- 
famous slanders, but will render a verdict which will 
be against the plaintiff, and one which shall carry 
"•'ith it the cvushins^ weight of your just condemna- 
tion of one wlio thus seeks to hold up before a gaping 
and curious world, the innocent victim of her own 
political a- we]] as domestic schemes and machina- 
tions. Mr. Peck, will you please take the stand ? 

Clehk. You do promise that the evidence which 
you shall give in this case shall be the truth as near 
as you are usuallv in the habit of stating it? 

M:r. Peck. Yes, Marm, I think so. 

Judge. Be seated, Mr. Peck. 

Mk. Peck. Thank you. 

Miss Sttncei^ Mr. Peck, what is your full name ? 

Mil. Peck. Henry Harrison Peck. 

Miss Stix(;er. Mr. Peck, this — er — ladj/ on the 
opposite side of the table is your wife, T believe ? 

Mr. Peck. Yes, Marm, she is. 

Miss Sttxckr. Yes, now will you kindly state to 
the ju7'y your version of the little — ah — unpleasant- 
ness from a domestic standpoint, which has been 
referred to by the preceding witnesses? 

Mr. Peck, (rather timidly) All of it? 

Miss Stixget?. Yes, yes, of course. 

Mr. Peck. ( looking apprehensively toward plain- 
tiff) But, :\Iarm, I— ah 

Miss Stixger. Oh, ffo ahead, Mr. Peck, vour in- 



PECK VS. PECK. 39 

terests, as well as your person will be fully protected 
in this court, we will see that any attempt at personal 
violence by anyone who happens to be present, meets 
with the stern rebuke of the law. (loohing at Mrs. 
Peck) 

Mrs. Hirrow. You honor, I most decidedlv 
object to the base insinuation contained in the remark- 
just made by counsel for defendant. A remark 
craftily contrived for the express purpose of creating 
a prejudice in the minds of the jury, inimical to my 
client. 

JmaE. We Avill have to warn counsel. 

^Fiiss Sttx(4KK'. (rising and hoiHng) T beg your 
Honor's pardon, as well as that of my learned sister, 
if T have been in any way guilty of transgressing the 
'lulv accei^ted rules of court procedure. T should have 
kno^^n better than to think that an attack of the kind 
referred to, would be attempted in this court, as much 
as a certain person might be tempted thereto. Please 
proceed, Mr. Peck. 

Mr. Peck. Well. Marm. As near as I can recall 
the circumstances, on the day in question I had come 
home from business feeling rather blue and dis- 
couraged, and 

^fiss Stixoer. What is the nature of your busi 
ness ? 

Mr. Peck. I am a dealer in butter and eggs. 

Miss Stinger. T suppose that is how your neigh- 
bors come to depend on you for eggs in times of short 
supply? (smiles in court room) 

Mr. Peck. It looks that way. This was in the 
time of the panic, and 

Mrs. O'Beax. Spake up a little louder, my little 
manny, so's we can hear th' ividence. 

Mr. Peck, (louder) I said it was the time of 
the panic, and I was needing all the money I could get 
hold of, to keep my business from going to smash, 
and I 

Miss Stixger. As a matter of fact, you did not 



30 PECK VS. PECK. 

feel that you could take any money out of your busi- 
ness, even for your personal expenses, did you ? 

Mr. Peck. No, Marm, I did not. I needed a new 
suit of clothes at the time, and I was compelled to 
buy, or rather to obtain them in exchange for other — 
ah — things. 

Miss Stinger. What exchange did you make. Mr. 
Peck? 

1\Ir. Peck. I — ah — would much prefer not to 
state, (whispered conference between Mrs. Peck, 
and ^Brs. Hibrow, the latter nods head) 

Miss Stinger. It is not material, go on. 

Mr. Peck. When I came home that evening I did 
not find my wife in, I inquired where she was, and 
was told that she was over at Mrs. Pry's, she returned 
shortly afterwards and told me that she must have 
$100.00 at once. 

Miss Stinger. Did she state what the money was 
wanted for? 

Mr. Peck. No, Marm, I asked her, but she said 
that was her business, not mine, but I think 

Mrs. Hibrow. Oh, we do not care what the wit- 
ness thinks, we only want facts. 

Miss Stinger. Go on, what happened next? 

Mr. Peck. Well, I explained my business situa- 
tion to her, and said the thing was impossible, — that 
T could not raise the sum she demanded. 

Miss Stinger. What reply did she make to that ? 

Mr. Peck. I was dusting the furniture as was my 
custom at that hour, when she flew at me like a wild 
woman — said I was an ungrateful wretch, and then 
began to shake me and pull me around b^^ the hair 
of the head. 

Miss Stinger. Making considerable noise in the 
meantime, no doubt? 

Mr. Peck. Yes, Marm. 

Miss Stinger. Did you attempt to defend your- 
self from this dastardly attack? 

Mr. Peck. I couldn't at first, but I had the 



I 



PECK VS. PECK. 31 

duster in my hand, and as soon as I could get a 
chance I struck her with it. 

Mrs. Hibrow. I trust the jury will take due cog- 
nizance of that statement. 

Miss Stixger. Yes, and you considered you were 
perfectly justified in so doing, as a matter of self- 
defence, did you not? 

^Ir. Peck. Yes, Marm, I did. 

Miss Stinger. What were the results of this 
blow, if any? 

Mr. Peck. Why, I believe the dust ilew consider- 
able, and a few of her hairpins fell out on the floor. 

Miss Stinger. But there were no bones broken — 
no flow of blood, or anything of that sort? 

Mr. Peck. Oh, no, nothing of that kind. 

Miss Stinger. No, I thought not. That's all, 
Mr. Peck, one moment though, I suppose you always 
considered yourself a fairly good husband? 

Mr. Peck. I think I was. 

Miss Stinger. Wheeled the children in the park 
— washed the dishes when the girl was out — and per- 
formed other domestic duties? 

Mr. Peck. Yes — and I made beds, and run the 
carpet sweeper too. 

Miss Stinger. Yes, in short, you did all that a 
wife could reasonably expect of a husband? 

Mr. Peck. Yes, Marm. 

Miss Stinger. That's all. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Mr. Peck, you stated a moment 
ago that in order to procure yourself a suit of clothes 
you were forced to exchange something else for them, 
now will you kindly state to the jury, what it was 
that you exchanged for the suit you were speaking 
of? 

Miss Stinger. Your Honor, I object to the ques- 
tion, as unimportant, irrelevant and immaterial. 

Judge. What does counsel wish to show ? 

Mrs. Hibrow. I wish to show to the members of 
this jury, the meanness of defendant in small things, 



32 PECK VS. PECK. , 

as having an important bearing on the question at 
issue. 

Judge. Proceed, objection overruled. 

Mrs. Htbrow. Well then, what was it? 

Mr. Peck, (hesitatingly) It was a — a — dress. 

Mrs. Hibrow. {'blustering) A ivhatf Speak 
up so the jury can hear you. 

Mr. Peck. I said it was a dress. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Oh, a dress, — whose dress? 

Mr. Peck. Mrs. Peck's. 

Mrs. Htbroav. And do you have the shameless 
effrontery to sit there and look this jury in the face 
and tell them that you stripped the dress from the 
back of a helpless and devoted wife, and sold it in 
order that you might have a suit of clothes to cover 
your own miserable little person? (jurors indig- 
nant) 

Mr. Peck. But, Marm, it was an old one, — she 
told me she was going to give it to Howe Lovely, 
so 

Mrs. Hibrow. Oh, that will do, that's all. (Mr. 
Peck steps doivn) 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Pry. (Mr. Pry takes stand) 

Clerk. You do promise that the evidence you are 
about to give shall be the truth, so help you? 

Mr. Pry. I do. 

Miss Stinger. Your full name, please? 

Mr. Pry. Paul Pry. 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Pry, where were you at the 
time of this assault by plaintiff upon defendant? 

Mrs. Hibrow. I object, your Honor, counsel as- 
sumes too much. 

Miss Stinger, (smiling) Well, at the time of 
this little difference of opinion? 

Mr. Pry. I was at home. 

Miss Stinger. Then personally you know noth- 
ing about it? 

Mr. Pry. I do not. 



PECK VS. PECK. 33 

Miss Stinger. You sav you were at home, been 
there for some time? 

yiR. Pry. All the afternoon. 

Miss Stinger. Was Mrs. Peck at any time prior 
to this ass — a — this little difficulty, alluded to, call- 
ing at your home? 

Mr. Pry. She was, she left there just after Mr. 
Peck returned from business. 

Miss Stinger. How do you know that ? 

Mr. Pry. Because I saw him go by, and saw her 
leave my house immediately afterward. 

Miss Stinger. Did you hear any conversation 
between your wife and Mrs. Peck while the latter 
was at your home? 

Mr. Pry, I did. 

Miss Stinger. Will you please state to the jury 
the nature of this conversation, and how you hap- 
pened to hear it? 

Mr. Pry. Well, I was sitting outside smoking, 
and they were inside talking, the front door was 
open, and they came out in the hall, they were talk- 
ing politics, and I heard Mrs. Peck say — " Well, if 
T am going into this thing I have just got to have a 
hundred dollars for campaign expenses, and if that 
miserable little shrimp of a Peck don't shell out, I'll 
hammer it out of him. 

Miss Stinger. . You are sure of that, are you ? 

Mr. Pry. I'll swear to it. 

Miss Stinger. That's all, Mr. Pry, thank you. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Mr. Pry, had you not been to an 
ear specialist shortly before the time you mention ? 

Mr. Pry. I had. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Your hearing was very poor, was 
it not? 

Mr. Pry. Oh, I had had a little trouble with one 
of my ears, but after treatment I could hear better 
than ever before in my life. 

Mrs. Hibrow. That's all. (Mr. Pry steps 
down) 



34 PECK VS. PECK. 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Gobsky. (Mr. Gobsky takes 
dand) , 

Clerk. How do vou qualify? 

Mr. Gobsky. Oh, I yust shows dose goots iukI 
der gua]ity speaks for itselluf. 

Clerk. You do not seem to understand me. See 
here, do you promise to tell the truth in answer to 
the questions of counsel? 

Mr. Gobsky. Oh, sure, I tell der drut, so hellup 
me. 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Gobsky, what is your full 
name? 

Mr. Gobsky. Abraham Isaac Gobsk;^. 

Miss Stinger. What is your business ? 

Mr. Gobsky. I vos a dealer in segond hant gloth- 
ing. 

Miss Stinger. You sell and exchange, do vou 
not? 

Mr. Gobsky. Veil somedimes ven a veller gomes 
mine blace of peezniss in und 

Miss Stinger. Wait a minute, I want to ask you 
if you recognize the defendant in this suit ? 

Mr. Gobsky. Veil, I dond know nuttings aboud 
what you calls devendand, bud I recognize der svid 
all right. I remember I sells you dat suid dwo — 
three years ago, und mine cracious ! vat a pargain id 
vas. (laughter in the room) 

Judge. Silence in the court-room. 

Miss Stinger, (somewhat embarrassed) Please 
answer my questions as briefly as possible, did you 
ever see this gentleman before. (points to Mr. 
Peck) 

Mr. Gobsky. Sure, he gomes mine shop in vun 
dime aboud vun year ago, mit a dress on — (laughter) 

Miss Stinger. What? 

Mr. Gobsky. I say, he gomes mine shop in vun 
dime aboud vun year ago, mit a dress on his arm, 
und say — " Mr. Gobsky, I haf here vun dress, vun 
very vine dress, vich 1 vould lige to eggschange for a 



PECK VS. PECK. 35 

STOot suid of orjothes." I says, vot kind of a suid do 
you vant? mine vrent? Und he says, a peeziness 
suid, und I say, yust led me eggsamine dot dress, so 
T dakes id und 

Miss Stixger. Well, Mr. Gobsky, was it a good 
dress? fit to wear to the theater or any place like 
that? 

Me. Goksky. {laughing) Ha, ha! Veil, id might 
have been oroot enough to vear to a " nigelodean 
barty " ha, ha ! 

Miss Gummer. {indignantly) What do you 
know about a nickleodean. Sheeny Ben? I bet you 
never coughed up enough to see the inside of one. 
{langhter) 

eluDGE. Order, order. 

^[iss Stixger. Go on. 

Mr. Gobsky. T dakes der dress, und I say to him, 
vust bick Yourselluf a suid oud of dis pile I have yust 
luarged down from $15.00 to $1.49. 

Miss Stixger. And he did so, did he? 

Mr. Gobsjsy. Dit so? of gourse he dit so, mine 
cracious ! sugh a pargain. {holding up both hands) 

Miss Stixger. Would you recognize the dress 
you speak of if you should see it? 

Mr. Goi'.sky. Sure, ad vunce. 

Miss Stixger. {undoing a bundle) Is this it, 
Mr. Gobsky? (showing rattier gay affair) 

Mr. Gobsky. Id iss. 

Miss Stixger. And could you recognize the suit 
also ? 

Mr. Gobsky. Off gourse. 

Miss Stixger. {holding up small boy's suit) Is 
this the one? 

Mr. Gobsky. Id iss, My ! vat a vine suid (raises 
hands, rolls eyes) vat a sagrifice I mage ven I sells 
id. Yust think of id, $1.49, for a suid of glothes lige 
that. Why, id vas de greatest pargain in der cidy. 

Miss Stinger. Mr. Gobsky do you remember Mr. 



36 PECK VS. PECK. • 

Peck's having had any conversation with you at the 
time of this sale? 

Mr. Gobsky. Yes, he said, '^ Hard dimes Mr. 
Gobsky, all der vay I can ged a suid to vear.^' 

Miss Stingeb. Well, wasn't that right? times 
toere hard, were they not? 

Mr. Gobsky. Hard vas no name for dose dimes. 
Vy, de only vay I gonld sell goots ad all vas to gif 
dem avay, so hellup me. 

Miss Stinger. That's all, Mr. Gobsky, thank you. 

Mrs. Hibrow. I suppose you sold this dress again 
at some price, you exchanged a suit valued at one 
dollar and forty-nine cents, for the dress, making a 
profit on the suit of course, then you sold the dress 
for what? seven dollars? eight dollars? hqw much 



now 



Mr. Gobsky. Yah ! I mage nottings, nottings, I 
do id for vriendshib, I had heard somedings aboud 
him and his vife 

Mrs. Htbrow. Oh, well never mind, that's all. 

Mr. Gobsky. (rising) I heard she vanted to be 
an aldervomans, and dook all his moneys for gam- 
baign expenses 

Mrs. Hibrow. {angrily) I said that would do. 
(Mr. Gobsky stands down) 

Miss Stixger. {laughing) Your Honor, the 
defense rests. 

Mrs. Hibrow. Your Honor, and ladies of the 
jury, I am not disposed to insult your intelligence by 
enlarging upon the evidence which we have produced 
for your guidance in this case, for that evidence has 
been so clear, that evidence has been so conclusive 
and convincing, and has shown you so plainly the 
depths of moral turpitude to which this " Peck " this 
creature, who calls himself a man, has sunk, that it 
needs no words of mine to assist you in forming an 
opinion of his innate depravity, or to open your eyes 
to his total lack of even one of the smallest of those 
manly virtues which this gentle and delicate — this 



PECK VS. PECK. 37 

refined and affectionate wife no doubt believed him 
to possess when she married him. A belief, however, 
which in the brief period of nineteen years, was 
doomed to a cruel and bitter death, as you have seen 
by the testimony which has been held up before your 
startled and horrified mental vision. But, I will ask 
you to bear me a few moments while I outline as it 
were upon the canvas of your minds, two pictures : — 
The one, a pictuie of the sweet serenity of conju'^ai 
love and domestic bliss, where the purlini^ streams of 
sweet content run laughing over the sun-kissed sands 
of a happy and peaceful life of married felicity. — 
The other, alas, a picture of disillusionment and 
grief, where the storm clouds of discord and cruelty 
hover with black and threatening wings over the 
angry billows of inhuman barbarity, which roar and 
break upon the bleak and desolate shores of a shat- 
tered and wreck-strewn paradise. (jury visibly 
affected ) 

Imagine, if you will, a pair of young and tender 
souls filled with the sweet and glad surprise of early 
love, they set out upon the road of wedded life seeing 
nothing but the sunlight of happiness which seems to 
illumine the road far far ahead, — like little birds, 
they sing the songs of joy and gladness, — like butter- 
tlirs. thcv flit from flower to flower, — like bees, they 
sip the honey that lurks in the sweet depths of every 
new experience. In course of time new shoots ap- 
pear upon the family tree, they buy a perambulator — 
and while she remains at home, preparing her mind 
for the sterner duties which she finds life must soon 
thrust upon her, in the shape of political preferment, 
— he places the little shoots aforementioned in the 
newly-acquired vehicle and wheels them about the 
park, he also assists in the more homely domestic 
tasks, as every dutiful husband should, and all goes 
happy as a wedding bell. 

But, — look for a brief moment upon the other pic- 
ture, — after nineteen short and happy years the scene 



38 PECK VS. PECK. . 

chanores, clouds obscure the canvas which we have just 
seen irradiated by the sunshine of love. The light- 
ning of avarice flash their angry light, and dart their 
lurid tongues of fire above the road once beautiful 
under the smiling rays of pure affection, the thunders 
of oppression roll with terrible reverberations over 
the once lovely, but now blackened landscape, while 
the devastating torrents of cruelty and abuse drive 
scream inir across the scene, obliterating in theii* 
course all traces of the beautiful blossoms of other 
days, {very impressive) 

Who, I ask you, is responsible for this awful change 
from beauty to ugliness most hideous, from sweetest 
music to harshest discord. Who I repeat, is the 
cause of all this? Aye, who but he, this despicable 
defendant, (pointing at Peck) whose avarice led 
him to strip the garment from the back of a weak 
and defenceless wife and sell it for what? wh)^, for 
clothing of the latest fashion for his own wear. 
This creature, who by refusing the pitiful sum of 
money for which his wife vainly pleaded, was guilty 
of the most flagrant oppression which a man can 
visit upon a woman. And lastly, this Being, who not 
content with all this, at last sinks so low that without 
remorse, and with malice aforethought he with 
brutal inhumanity seizes her in an iron grasp, and 
endeavors to beat out her brains with a feather duster. 
(plaintiff and jury weep audibly) 

It is from this man, or rather, from this monster in 
human form, that we ask you to give us a divorce, 
and from whose miserable avarice we ask you to 
wring alimony in the sum of one thousand dollars 
per year, and whom by the weight of your just con- 
demnation we ask you to consign to the darkest depths 
of that oblivion which should be the lot of all who 
like him thus trample under foot the sacred and 
inalienable rights of womankind, (sits down) 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. I motions we hang him. 

Judge. That will do. 



PECK VS. PECK. 39 

Miss Stinger. Your Honor, and ladies of the 
jury. In beginning my plea for my client T cannot 
refrain from voicing my professional pride in the 
fact that I am so fortunate as to be a fellow member 
of the bar association which boasts the possession of 
the distinguished advocate to whom we have just had 
the -pleasure of listening, and whose lofty eloquence 
and polished diction, have brought the tears welling 
to your eyes. And which no doubt has been instru- 
mental in appealing to those tender chords of senti- 
ment and emotion upon which the natural orator so 
loves to play. But, while I gladly pay this tribute 
to one than whom a greater does not exist in our 
state to-day — at the same time I would seek to im- 
press upon your minds the fact that professional 
pride, and eloquence — even of the most persuasive 
kind, are things apart from the case which you have 
before you at the present time, for, in the cold calm 
face of relentless facts they wither and disappear 
like tender plants before the pitiless onslaught of a 
Dakota blizzard. And it is to these facts T would 
draw your attention for a very brief time, by a short 
resume of the evidence which has just been brought 
out on the witness stand. Before doing this, how- 
ever, I want to say — that I am actuated only by a 
stern sense of duty and justice, for I would not have 
you think for a moment that I am in any way opposed 
to those principles which have in recent years pre- 
vailed to lift our former downtrodden sex up — up, 
to the lofty pinnacle of political eminence which it 
now enjoys, and which have at last placed it upon 
a higher plane of influence and activity than mere 
man could evei' boast in his palmiest day of power. 
(salvo of applause from everybody hut the men) 

Ladies, I thank you (hotving) As you well know, 
in all political movements there are good and bad 
members of the body politic, unfortunately no less so 
under the present, than under the former regime, 
there always have been, and probably there always 



40 PECK VS. PECK. 

mi]] be, heelers and demagogues, to which class the 
plaintiff in this class belongs, her reputation in this 
district I am told is particularl}^ notorious, and there 
is no trick in the trade at which she is an adept, that 
she has not used to assist her in stirring up the politi- 
cal pot and bringing to the surface the vile dregs of 
petty power and corruption. As we have shown you, 
she was running for the office of alderwoman at the 
time of this trouble in opposition to the candidate of 
the German-American Alliance, or coalition, who was 
a woman that is well and favorably known to every- 
body, none other in fact than a member of this jury 
which I have the honor to address, Mrs. Freeling- 
heiser 

Mrs. Freelingheiser. Yah, dot is richt, und she 
dried to sfif nie dot double cross — ■ — 

Miss Stinger, {laughing) Yes, but you were 
too much for her, with the help of the respectable 
element in your ward. This woman needed money 
to finance her campaign, and as she told her neighbor 
Mrs. Pry, {not thinMng that she had another hearer) 
" She must have this money, this one hundred dollars, 
and if that little shrimp of a Henry Peck did not 
shell out. or dig up, or some such slangy term, she 
would hammer it out of him " — Think of it ! she 
would hammer it out of the man whom if reports are 
true, she had already impoverished to the extent 
that he was forced to exchange one of her cast-ofF 
dresses for a cheap suit of clothes wherewith to cover 
his shrinking form from the curious and embarrassing 
craze of his friends and neighbors. We have shown 
you that she kept her word, for by her own reluctant 
admission under cross-examination she furiously 
assaulted defendant when he confessed his inability 
to comply with her extortionate demands, and he, 
as any one would have been under the circumstances, 
was perfectly justified in defending himself with the 
first weapon he could lay hands upon, which in this 



PECK VS. PECK. 41 

instance happened to be a feather duster. A very 
deadly instrument of attack, as the learned counsel 
for the other side would have you believe. The 
evidence of Mr. Pry was conclusive, and the evidence 
of his wife — the lady who needed " eggs " so sud- 
denly, (laughter) No less so, while the testimony 
of the Lovely girl proves sufficiently the assault of 
the plaintiff on defendant, and I ask you candidly if 
in the face of all these facts you can do anything 
else than render a verdict which shall deny the 
praver of the plaintiff in every particular, and which 
shall result in acquitting this abused and innocent 
husband of the vile charges and aspersions which an 
unnatural wife has sought to cast upon him. 

Ladies of the Jury. T leave my client's case in your 
hands, confident that the light which shines from 
the sacred fires which burn upon your own domestic 
hearthstones will so illuminate the inner workings of 
your minds and your hearti^, that the result will be a 
true and just verdict for defendant. 

Jt'DOE. readies of the jury, this is a case in which 
the plaintiff asks for a divorce and alimony from 
defendant on the grounds of cruel and abusive treat- 
ment, also of insufficient financial support. T believe. 
Vou have heard the testimony of witnesses, and the 
arguments of counsel, and if you consider that 
sufficient evidence has been produced to substantiate 
plaintiff's claims, you will render your verdict accord- 
ingly, if on the other hand, you think the evidence 
is in favor of defendant, you will refuse the prayer 
of the plaintiff, and give a verdict in favor of 
defendant. Bearing in mind, of course, that the costs 
of court go with the verdict. 

I would say, however, for your furtlier instruction, 
that since WE have had control of the courts, the 
compromise style of verdict has been the prevailing 
style, and the one most favored by the leaders of 
fashions in the law, you may decide on this form of 



42 PECK VS. PECK. ^ 

verdict if you so elect, in which case, you will divide 
the costs. You will now take the case, Mrs. Diamond. 
We will appoint you forewoman. 

^Mrs. Siifffle. The idea, that upstart. 

Judge. You .will have to deliberate where you are, 
as the jury room is in the hands of the painters and 
decorators who, under w?/ instructions are doing the 
walls in a lovely scheme of ecru and pink, {much 
chattering and noise in tJie jurj/ ho.r, which finally 
ends hi/ their seeming to agree) 

^[rs. T)i A:\roxD. As many as are in favor of the 
verdict ])roposed by Mrs. Delancy, will please raise 
their rig-ht hands, {nnanimous agreeniemt) 

JuDGR. What is the verdict? 

]\rRS. DiA.Moxi). The verdict of the jury is — that 
as we deplore the increasino^ prevalence of divorce for 
trivial reasons, and as we believe there should be 
mutual concessions made in the present case — we 
recommend that the costs .of court be placed on the 
county * and that the parties in this suit be directed 
by the court to return to their former relations ; the 
wife promisiiii? to abstain from all indulgence in 
strong politics in the future, and the husband agree- 
ing to wheel the children in the park, and assist in the 
various household duties usually performed by an 
obedient husband in this enlightened age. 

Judge. You have listened to the verdict, which is 
heartily concurred in by the court; are you willing 
to abide by it? 

Mr. PI'X'K. {rising) I am willing to be taken 
back, J\Iarm. {applause) 

Judge. Very sensible of vou, I am sure, what says 
the plaintiff? 

Mrs. Peck. I am willing to give him one more 
trial, {great appla/nse) 

* The costs of court may be placed upon the manager of 
tlie entertainment, 



PECK VS. PECK. 43 



Judge. Then it is so decreed. (Mn. and Mrs. 
Pi:cK rush into each other s arms) 
Mr. Peck. BABY!! 
Afns. Peck. HEjS^NY ! ! {wild applause) 



•CURTAIN. 



DEC 2S 1911 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



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DEC 25 1911 



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